After every flight, commercial airline pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the airlines mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The Mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the Lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.


Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.


Problem logged by the pilot
Solution and action taken by the engineers
Left inside main tire almost needs replacement   Almost replaced left inside main tire
Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough   Auto-land not installed on this aircraft
Something loose in cockpit   Something tightened in cockpit
Dead bugs on windshield   Live bugs on back-order
Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent   Cannot reproduce problem on ground
Evidence of leak on right main landing gear   Evidence removed
DME volume unbelievably loud   DME volume set to more believable level
Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick   Thats what they're there for
IFF inoperative   IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
Suspected crack in windshield   Suspect youre right
Number 3 engine missing   Engine found on right wing after brief search
Aircraft handles funny   Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious
Target radar hums   Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
Mouse in cockpit   Cat installed
Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer   Took hammer away from midget